Ask Maria a Question or Book an Event!

Why Embracing Your Comfort Zone is Important and How to Step Out Without Selling Short on What Matters Most

Edited by Admin
Why Embracing Your Comfort Zone is Important and How to Step Out Without Selling Short on What Matters Most


According to experts in psychology and neuroscience, our comfort zone is a behavioural space that we tend to spend most of our time in. Some of us more than others. It’s a space where our behaviours and activities fit a routine and pattern that minimizes our stress and perception of risk. Operating within these behaviours and patterns provides us with a sense of mental security. For the most part, this behavioural space isn’t governed by any actual threat to us, but rather what we perceive as threatening. 


Research tells us many things about the comfort zone. One is that it is an optimal temperature for us. Another tells from a psychological viewpoint that it’s a state where a person feels at ease and in control of their environment. Naturally, this, along with what I was experiencing, grew my curiosity for how overcoming this comfort zone state for the sake of achieving "success" could be optimizing, let alone healthy and sustainable. With what leadership/management and success thoughts are out there, I’m not disputing any of their claims. I’m merely sharing what I’ve been reminded of, from within my experience as I recall my own life’s flow and relationship with success and my comfort zone. As I write this, one recall brings me to the days of parenting my own child (now a young man) when he was in his formative years. What I remember are the times when home felt safe for gradual, experiential learning and growth at a natural, healthy pace unique to his and my growth and skills. What I remember is that we take on challenges with conscious deliberation, once we have matured our thoughts, ability to manage our emotions, and experiences about our qualifications, our essence in wisdom, our vision for meaningful purpose with fulfilling and playing to our strengths.


Having pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone prematurely and to the point of illness, I’ve learned and found my way back to the truth of Love within which helped me to pay attention to what matters most first, before I stretch out with something bold for the external standards and circumstances vying for my attention to act on. By recognizing and respecting my comfort zone, I can consciously identify when a situation threatens my wellbeing. I can fill my comfort zone with my awareness, my gifts and talents, Love’s illumination within a safe space to pause, reflect, deliberate, discern, heal, adjust, grow, assert my boundaries so that I can “get out of a situation and into new”, remembering my dreams, safeguarding yet flowing in the context of love, connection and joy, not from fear, anxiety, stress and pain. All this, so that I can return to where I feel whole, safe and secure - and get to where I really want to get to in my present moment with vitality and gusto.


So what do you when you’re told to stretch out of your comfort zone to go bold on something you want? Here are some of my guiding perspectives.

Perspective: Know Your FEARs 
It’s true that there are things outside of our comfort zone that are dangerous like jumping off of a tall building, trying to pry a cub from the arms of a bear. There are, however other things we’ve defined as dangerous outside of our comfort zones that are worthy of re-evaluating. These are the things that bring on fear, yet are perceived as so, with little (if any) evidence real danger – situations that many thought leaders today refer to as “F.E.A.R.”, or “false evidence appearing real”.  For instance, you likely know someone is afraid of public speaking. I know I was, and truth be told, I still get the jitters, no matter how much I rehearse. A quick online browse will tell you that no one has ever died from public speaking (as far as my quick research tells me). It’s also like the experience from when you were a kid playing  “hide and seek” and you cover your face with your hands saying, "You can't see me!" I used to play this in my comfort zone during my weight gain as an adult!
Perspective:  Mature Your Experience
We all have a comfort zone, unique to each of us. And because we are also each unique, no two people will have the exact same comfort zone or viewpoint on what’s right and wrong for the other. Our comfort zones change over time as we mature and gain more experiences based on our consciousness level, thoughts, beliefs, experiences, actions, and skillsets. I encourage all to gain deep understanding of their comfort zone - the thresholds created, what serves forward momentum, what needs prioritizing for the sake of that brass ring and being totally ok with it in the present moment.


Perspective: Do Your Real (Inner) Homework

If you’ve done your homework and your inner work, and you’re clear about why you’re taking the stretch, and you consciously want to go for it, I say do it. This inner work is all about those fears you hide from, pretend they don't exist but really they do. It could be fear of success, fear of failure, not having enough this or that to take a step forward. You may need external supports to help you figure it out - a coach, mentor, counsellor/therapy - supports that will help you objectively tend to what you need to tend to, and with the right expertise to support you along the way.

Perspective: Take Small Steps that Count for Right Momentum & Consistency Building
If you’re struggling to know what to do, but want to try it out, start in small steps with opportunities that have lesser risk involved, like each day introducing a new habit that isn’t really disruptive but meaningful enough for you to notice how it feels to flex that “out of the comfort into the new”. I  had a client, for instance, where within two weeks, started to notice a change in her relationship with binge-watching Netflix whenever she felt work pressures seeping into her performance anxiety during the evenings. By slowly replacing her triggered habit of switching from her laptop tab on a zoom meeting, to a report to look at, to Netflix, each night, she would replace it with setting a target of one episode only, then moving to a physical activity like taking a walk or doing a breathing-stretch for ten minutes. In her first week, yes, she struggled and slid into more than one episode, but quickly changed her habit and now only watches if she wants to not because she’s worried and feeling anxious. After eight weeks, she’s on to bigger feats and no longer feels the same level of anxiety that lingered when it came to a work performance matter, focusing more of her newfound extra time with looking forward to her projects and interactions on the work front.
Perspective: The Skill of Embracing Comfort Zones for Knowing When to Step Out of It

The world continues. Shifts are occurring. Increasing demands on our time and attention, our comfort zones can act as predictable spaces for an opportunity to master where we can seek refuge for when anxiety, stress and strife becomes too much. I believe when we take care of ourselves we can consciously leverage the comfort zone for illuminating what we need to deliberate on for whatever it is that needs focus and priority in our path to fulfillment. I am re-thinking and adjusting how I view comfort zones in a more expansive and different way that’s energizing my consciousness, and to me, that’s very good. I see my comfort zone as a container to shore up what I learn in the conscious path – gifts of confidence, influence, forward momentum, clarity of thoughts aligned with the Divine force within. I sit in my heart with the deep knowing that when I spend less time wrestling with discomfort, I can focus more on what matters most, Divine gifts from within revealing themselves to me such as hope for possibilities, awareness of my agency and authority in my life’s domains, trust in Love, faith which guides actions that serve a higher purpose and unlimiting beliefs.


Over time as confidence is built and we see positive outcomes we can be more willing to accept what our moments bring us to embrace – because we come to know our truth in our vitality, our well-being, talents and gifts. We also come to know our priority and responsibility to this truth. That's part of the journey to true fulfillment for what matters most in the long term. I’ve come to realize so far in my own life’s flow and its ongoing journey, that when I’m consciously deliberate in every life space and domain I choose to fulfill a role in, when I'm fully present from a place of "safe", achieving true success as a leader is about successfully expressing my truth. Sometimes it means risks. Sometimes it means just 'being' in the moment. Sometimes its means rich lessons to learn and mature our gifts and talents from. Always, it means sobriety and light from my true self.

What do you think about your comfort zone today? Drop a comment below and let me know what you think. 
(This blog is an adaptation from my book, "Love & Leadership in The Fast Lane: How to Lead Without Selling Short on What Matters Most" - available on Amazon -
To learn more about how I can help you better understand your comfort zone, and what to do about it, without selling short on what matters most to you and those around you, contact me at